The mysterious portals we are presented with daily can confound us or intrigue us. Bob says it is a matter of perception. So true. We can choose how we react to good and bad news.
What keeps me going? Some days I wonder why I keep doing the things I do. Am I making sensible choices? Should I open that door and would a peek inside reveal brilliant illumination or would I be peering into a murky dark room full of doubt and second guesses?
After this week of fatigue I still feel I made the right decision to have this treatment. I go again on January 3. I feel good about this decision.
Even though I was worn out, I accomplished several things a day. That always helps to feel progress in the right direction.
Again I find myself wondering why I put the fleeting thoughts of my feeble narcotic infested brain out there to cause people to scratch their own heads and wonder about me. Maybe I am narcissistic.
Dear sweet NON-narcissistic Sister -
ReplyDeleteI am just in awe of your ability to write these words - these wonderfully touching and inspiring words. Please never ever stop putting what you call "fleeting thoughts" here for us to read and appreciate. Yes, I for one do wonder about you - wonder about your ability, your sensibility, your deep thoughts and I wonder why I can't have some of that good stuff! Thank you for sharing your very personal, very touching and very beautiful commentary. In my eyes you are making perfectly sensible choices.
I love you and wish I could run right down to Grove City and see your pretty little chubby face and hug the crap out of you! I don't have a car today though - sorry.
I can't even put into words how much you all mean to me. It's a bunch - really.
Now you just wrote more beautiful sincere words than I could imagine. Aren't we good tonics for each other?
ReplyDeleteThe best! We should bottle it and call it The Hope Tonic!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I meant to say I love that beautiful portal at the beginning of your blog. We should have those on our front doors - all of us. Maybe call them The Hope Portals.......wait, wait...... maybe we could put that image on the bottles of The Hope Tonic?! I think I'm on to something here......
ReplyDeleteAgain Lizzie has beat me to saying the same things I would like to express to you. Perhaps not in the same words, but the very same sentiments. Diane - the clarity of your thoughts and way you express those thoughts is truly amazing. You are the least narcissistic person I know. Truly, I am so proud of you for your courage in facing the many challenges you have had with this crappy disease.
ReplyDeletePlease continue to blog whatever is on your mind. So many times during the day when I am home I check to see if you have blogged. I usually check my phone too, but today I had been out running around most of the day. I am so glad you continue to talk to us this way.
I like the idea of the Hope Tonic. I think it should be distributed at no cost to anyone who is discouraged as they face the trials and tribulations in their lives. I know the many nurses and doctors who have come in contact with you, Diane, will give a testimonial to this sought after tonic because they have seen first hand of its effectiveness in your case. Let's see how we can develop it further. just think how it could change our society.
I know too there is something very special about our maiden name - Hope. Not just the word, but the actual expectation that the word evokes. It has been passed down to us from our sweet mother who never gave up hope. Hope is my favorite word and you sisters always bring me hope. I love you all and wish I could be there with you.
Thanks you guys. You amaze me too.
ReplyDeleteNow how do you get to Blogger on your iPhone?
I bookmarked Sisters of High Hopes and from Safari I go to the bottom and touch the symbol that looks like a book. That is all there is to it.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lori.
ReplyDelete