Hey sisters!
My appointment went pretty well yesterday. My scans were stable again so the doctor agreed that this might be a good time to take a much needed vacation. We tossed around the idea of continuing with the Avastin and dropping the Taxol for a while since that is the one that she believes causes me the most discomfort. In the end, I told her that I felt I just needed a break if it wasn't a stupid move.
She said historically my cancer is slow growing and has responded well to treatment. There is no guarantee that it will not change its characteristics and do something different. I cannot worry about that. I will do what I have to do and we will keep vigilant with the scans and checkups. I go back in four weeks.
This is not an exciting or entertaining post, I know. Just thought I would get the info out there before I jumped back into life and forget to update you all.
By the way, last week I was thinking more about Mom as when we went to the funeral home for Kerry, it brought back those kind of memories. I was thinking about how much I miss her and wished she were still here. I was thinking about her as I was sitting and waiting to have my CT scans. My nose got red and my eyes started leaking. The people around me probably were worried about my mental state or something. Anyhow, it occurred to me that Mom didn't really die. Her physical body just made a little transition to another dimension. So, I sat there and had a little conversation with Mom (not out loud, I don't think). I asked her how she was doing and what she did for fun. I imagined she was playing bingo and crocheting little colorful afghans for everyone. She had on a colorful nylon top and some nice polyester pants with a nice crisp seam stitched down the front. They were brown. They were not worn out and did not have those little lint balls on them. She was quite happy and content and the vision of her sweet smile brought a happy tear to my eye.
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So now my eyes are leaking after reading of your conversation with Mom. I miss her too. Just yesterday I was sitting in the livingroom, no TV, just silence and looking at the big picture of Mom I have on the shelf. It was as if she was smiling at me and telling me she loved me. It was so very comforting.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy for your good doctor's report and you will have a vacation from the chemo. It must feel like a gush of fresh air sweeping over you knowing you will have weeks of feeling good. It is wonderful. I wish I could come right now and celebrate with you.
Well, girls - now we all having the leaking condition! I too think of Mom often. Wow, she should be here, shouldn't she? I find that there a lot of things I wish I would have asked her. Like, how did she think about things when she was my age. Just how did she fry that chicken. Did she and Dad ever have serious conversations. How much did she worry (or take pride) in her kids and grandkids. What were her biggest regrets - and what she felt was her best accomplishments. I kind of think she wasn't a deep thinker but I never bothered to ask. That last week or so before she died we did have a couple of really special conversations - her telling me her dreams of seeing dad, of jumping in 'the pool' with everyone wishing her well. She also told me she really was not afraid to die and that she really thought it was time to go. Hmmmm.....
ReplyDeleteMy biggest accomplishment this past week was swollen ankles! I have never had the condition so what does it mean? It's ugly for sure. Is my pump not working correctly? I don't like it. Does hurt - just another reminder of getting older, I guess.
Speaking of getting older, I called Virginia Whitesell yesterday - at 2:30 - and she was still in bed! She was quite chatty and funny, as a matter of fact. She is 91 - amazing!
Sarah is having Aiden's birthday part here at our house on Sunday June 14 at 2pm - please spread the word. More details will come soon.
We have a Zoo membership this year so anytime any of you go to the Zoo, just call and I'll run over and we can meet up for a while. I got the big old family membership so with have 4 adults and 6 grandkids on it - enough for lots of fun.
I need to come to Grove City today to meet up with my exiting renter and take pics of the condo. I may call you Diane and stop by - but, then again, I may not so don't just sit around waiting on me. Would you please sell my condo for me?
Diane, I am so happy that you can take a break. My friend, Jackie, got some more bad news regarding her cancer but I'm not sure what it is. I saw her getting off the elevator and she had a box of tissues. When I asked if she had a cold, her eyes started to leak and she couldn't talk - said she got more bad news and will share later. We're going to get together for lunch this next week. I hate cancer.
Dan is waiting - we are running errands all over the place. I really want to get home and putz in the yard today - beautiful day.
I love you Sisters of Hope!
Sissy Fat Ankles
Didn't mean to cause leaky eyes, but it's a good cause.
ReplyDeleteWell heck, Lori. You should have been here today as we celebrated! We got up and went to Wal-Mart (ugh!) and Home Depot. We came home and started on the porch railing project that Bob started yesterday. We got another side up today. Now we have one little section to do after we rest up from lunch. It is going smooth enough. No cussing so far. No looking at me like I am from Mars (forget Venus). He is really trying because he knows how I tense up when he mentions us doing a project together.
Lizzie, I would have liked to ask her those practical questions too. I did when she was here and my chicken still never has turned out like hers. Or my pork chops. I don't think she would have been as responsive to the philosophical questions as you would probably hope for. I am not good with them either, so don't expect much from me if you ask me those questions. Oh, I had some great and meaningful conversations with her too. Mainly they were started by her and not by me asking questions.
Good luck with selling your condo. I hope it goes smoothly and quickly. You seem to have a knack for turning over property so I don't see why you won't do it this time.
That is amazing about Virginia being 91 and still being witty and chatty. Bob's mom is 94 and she is slipping in and out of forgetfulness and foolishness. Oh, that sounds like me.
I put Aiden's party in my Palm. I plan to be there and I will spread the word.
Sorry about your ankles. Hope it subsides soon.
And I am so sorry about your friend Jackie. I don't know what to say. Did she originally have breast cancer? When was she first diagnosed?
Well, Bob just announced he is going back out. I better get my supervisor's hat on and get out there.
Mercy, I might as well have written a new post this is so long.
Love you girls.